Things I'll Never Say
by song-left-unheard
Summary: Guess I'm wishing my life away / With these things I'll never say / These things I'll never say. Lizzie visits Darcy upon his return to Netherfield.


**A/N: Taking a small break from writing my other LBD fanfic (Single and Happyish? Read it!) so here's just some Dizzie fluff. Song lyrics are from Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne. I don't own the song and I don't own Pride and Prejudice or the Lizzie Bennet Diaries either. I wish I were that cool. **

_I'm tugging at my hair / I'm pulling at my clothes / I'm trying to keep my cool / I know it shows_

Lizzie runs the brush through her hair one last time before setting it lightly on the dresser. She feels all the normal clichés; butterflies in her stomach, tingly from her fingers to her toes, brain all fuzzy.

"William Darcy has returned to Netherfield!" her mother squeals over breakfast.

Lydia looks at her plate, hiding a small smile at her mom's antics. Lizzie looks at her plate as well, trying to keep her feelings from showing plainly on her face. It doesn't work.

"Why Lizzie, you should go and pay Mr. Darcy a visit," Mrs. Bennet says with a purposeful wink at her middle daughter. "With Jane gone to New York with that lovely Bing Lee," her smile widens in triumph, "And your father at work already, you're the only one left to go welcome him!"

"It's the twenty-first century Mom," Lydia says rolling her eyes. "We don't have to go welcome him back to the neighborhood."

But Lydia smiles at Lizzie and nods her head slightly, encouraging her sister to go pay the man she loves a visit. Lizzie loves Will, as she's started calling him, in her head alone. She's not sure when she started loving him. Maybe at Pemberley when she met Gigi and realized that Will wasn't the douche she had made him out to be. Or maybe it started when she found out what he did for Lydia, for their whole family.

Whenever it started, now the feeling overwhelms her completely, and she finds herself agreeing to her mom's request to go to Netherfield.

"You want to come Lydia?" Lizzie asks, she knows her sister probably wants to say thank you.

Lydia starts to nod in agreement, when Mrs. Bennet interrupts,

"Oh no Lydia! You absolutely can't go with Lizzie! I'm in desperate need of your help with the laundry!"

Lizzie and Lydia shake their heads, laughing, just like old times.

Lizzie looks at herself in the mirror, lightly pulling on the straps of her tank top. She sighs, and pulls off the shirt heading over to her closet to find a new outfit.

"Are you still here Lizzie? You look fine!" Lydia yells from the room across the hall. "Get over there already!"

Lizzie laughs and pulls her jacket off the back of her chair.

_I'm staring at my feet / My cheeks are turning red / I'm searching for the words inside my head_

On the ride over to Netherfield she goes over exactly what she's going to say. She's going to thank him. She's not going to call him Will; she's not going to tell him she loves him. She's just going to thank him, because whatever he felt, well that was the past. She's just going to thank him.

He opens the door. Lizzie wasn't expecting that, she thought it would be Bing or Gigi or Fitz or Caroline who would open the door. But that was crazy thinking of course, Bing's in New York, Gigi's in San Francisco, and Caroline is in LA.

Even still, she isn't prepared to face him just yet. The words she's been planning go straight from her head. She feels herself blushing and she can't look him in the face.

"Lizzie," he says, a statement, not a question.

She looks up at him. His black hair is tousled and his blue eyes seem to burn straight through her, but not in an unpleasant way. She looks back at her feet.

"Would you like to come in?" he asks politely.

"Thank you," she blurts out. "For what you did for Lydia."

He runs another hand through his hair.

"How do you know?"

"I saw the videos, they were…illuminating," she says teasingly.

He smiles lightly and she doesn't think that it contorts his face in an ugly way at all.

"Would you like to come in?" he asks again.

It feels as though her words have run out again, so she just nods and follows him into the house.

_Cause I'm feeling nervous / Trying to be so perfect / Cause I know you're worth it / You're worth it_

They watch a movie. It's not a date. She repeats it to herself over and over again. She doesn't watch the movie, couldn't even say what it was, she's too busy watching him. Watching the way he laughs, the way he runs a hand through his hair, the way he watches her when he thinks she's not watching.

She wonders if he feels nervous. She sure does. She wishes she were kinder like Jane, wishes she had never said the things she said about him on the internet (or in real life). She wishes she were more outgoing like Lydia, wishes she could just apologize for it now.

But she's only herself. So when the movie finishes, and she doesn't want to leave, she turns the conversation to books. They disagree, as always, but for once she listens to his opinions. He's smart and backs what he's thinking well, but he listens to her. And he looks at her, pensive, as he considers her thoughts.

He's such a better man than she thought he was. He's kind, but opinionated. He's handsome, but she's pretty sure he doesn't know it. He's smart, but also a good listener. She loves him more with each passing moment.

Without realizing she moves closer towards him. He takes her hand. They look at each other.

_Guess I'm wishing my life away / With these things I'll never say / These things I'll never say_

There are no words. She can't say she's sorry, she can't tell him how much her feelings have changed. She doesn't know how anymore. So she leans in and kisses him. Actions are so much more powerful than words.

**A/N: What did you think? Please review :)**


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